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DUPONT ET FILS, so said the sign on the large
double doors. Well, I suppose it is worth a try. "Do you speak
English?" Shaking heads; oh Lord. here we go: "Avez vous un auto pour
louer?" I said. More shaking heads. "AVEZ VOUS UN AUTO POUR LOUER?” I
repeated, turning slightly red. Understanding crept across M. Dupont's
ruddy countenance, and he pointed to a rather battered yellow object in
a dark corner. "Vous voulez la Dyane?" "Oui." said I with some
foreboding, and parted with the 100 francs deposit. The Dyane was
the best thing that happened to me all weekend, since I happened to be
driving the Lotus 63 four-wheel-drive at the time. . . .
"Wouldn't have one of those mate, only trendies drive them," said a
man-in the car park. Well, all I can say is that for once the trendies
are on to a good thing. It is the rest that may have been sucked in by
the marketing man and the slick advertisement. The family as an
institution is dying, but Mademoiselle Dyane is doing her level best to
keep the spirit alive. The Dyane is a community car. It fosters
relationships.
I had not driven once since that weekend in France nine years ago. She
was older but had lost none of her verve. Weighing 7 3/4 lb, the
hub-mounted cylindrical inertia dampers have gone from each corner, and
have been replaced by laterally mounted telescopic units. The
centrifugal clutch is now a thing of the past, unfortunately. There
have been detail changes to the trim, and the engine now boasts 602
c.c., but I knew when the man in the car park went on to say, “I don't
know how to drive one of those mate", that Citroën could not have
changed the Dyane that much. I sat there surrounded by apparent
crudity, upright and comfortable. the flat windscreen, and sliding
windows could have been taken from an up-to-date Austin Chummy. That
strange umbrella-like gearlever sticking out of the facia, the roll top
roof, and instrument panel that only Citroën could have designed. It
was the same Dyane, and memories of a weekend in France came flooding
back.
That you only need an air cooled 602 c.c. twin producing 32 bhp (DlN)
at 5,750 rpm and 31 lb.ft. torque at 4,000rpm to haul the family along
the motorway at 70 mph is proven in the Dyane; though I am not saying
that it is possible to listen to the radio at the same time. Noisy but
unburstable describes the engine. If it is of interest, 30 mph arrives
in nine seconds, and 50 mph in 25 sec, but then who uses a fraction of
the performance available in the average car? In fact the screaming
maxima in the gears are an indicated 40 mph (6,600 rpm) in second, and
60 mph (6,450 rpm) in third. The horizontally opposed hemi twin is
interesting in that the crankshaft is pressed together, and once built
up the rods cannot be removed. In February 1953. Autocar said, "The
normal life of pistons, rings and cylinders is reckoned to be about
36,000 miles, and a complete replacement set can be bought for £7 12s
6d" They now cost £24.33 and have a much longer life. The power output
has also risen somewhat from the original nine bhp from 375 c.c. That
the willing little twin is so smooth is due in no small part to the
massive flywheel which is also very useful for standing starts, and
keeping the momentum up on the open road.
I do not think M. Boulanger was too worried about camber change when
the suspension for the 2CV (Dyane's forbear), was on the drawing board.
There is none, except that imparted by a minimum‚of 14 degrees of
castor on lock, but what does it matter with such narrow 125 x 15
tyres. No aquaplaning, problems there. Soft but superbly damped
rising-rate suspension, and a ground level roll centre, looks to make
open road motoring an alarming business, but the highway is in fact, a
confidence-inspiring full throttle exercise.
A journey becomes an adventure with Mademoiselle Dyane, not because
there is any doubt about arriving at the destination, rather less than
many a car, but in that she imparts a sense of travel, she is alive.
Overtaking opportunities have to be carefully judged, and taken as they
appear, but unlike some low powered cars that is not the chore it would
seem, as there is so little trouble in keeping up on the bends.
Other cars pretend in some way or another. M. Boulanger would have
cried at the sight of a Datsun Cherry. With the seats removed, and the
roof rolled back I would be tempted to move house without the removal
van, and for those considering a moonlight flit, the headlights are
adjustable from within to cope with attitude change. Everything has a
purpose or two. The seats can be removed for a picnic, though recent
models require a 10 mm spanner for the rear bench seat. The engine fan
doubles by pushing almost instant hot air through to the interior,
where it can be adjusted for flow and direction by two levers. If it's
fresh air that you want, open the two vents at either side of the
facia, and out it comes in quantities related to your forward speed
from a scoop behind the bonnet. Maintenance should be minimal, nothing
to grease, rotorless ignition, and easily replacable body panels. I
averaged 37.7 mpg driving flat out, so every-man's average should be
well over 40 mpg.
A journey with the Dyane and a passenger is a shared experience, or if
it does not start as one, it will finish that way! In the physical
sense passengers often find it difficult to resist roll, this and a
radio so sited underneath the passenger parcel shelf, that cannot be
tuned in without leaning over, renders physical isolation impossible!
As I have said, she fosters relationships.
To extract the best from her, a little elementary psychology sometimes
has to be employed, particularly at the lights. An attractive female
passenger helps somewhat to distract the opposition. Get that heavy
flywheel turning over at what seems like 4,000 rpm and let the clutch
in, and more often than not the rest are left gaping in neutral.
Battling along a wind- and rain-swept motorway brings the occupants
together, united in a common cause, against the weather.
Sure-footed, and very stable (not surprising with 20 degrees of castor
when laden), but rocking a little in response to prolonged gusts of
wind, gives one the feeling of being at sea in a good boat. The wind
whistles through the tiny crevices at the front of the hood while I
dodge wandering Escorts. The wipers grind away like an electric
cockroach, but to anybody with any soul left, it is fun. Fun is also to
drive around the outside and out-brake "hard" men in their skittish Mk
1 Capris and Mk 2 Cortinas. Neither does the average Japanese car
escape derision on a wet and slimy roundabout, where power is of little
consequence. The gearchange looks strange, but like everything else it
works well, the straight push/pull 2nd to 3rd movement is delightful.
The conception was right those 28 years ago. Very little of any
importance has had to be changed. The same priorities still hold good –
a simple utility car that goes on working, but it would be so nice, if
the French licensing laws were not so incomprehensible, to see a really
hot version introduced, perhaps with the 1,220 c.c. GS engine?
. . . . driving away from Clermont Ferrand that weekend I saw a
familiar face for once looking helpless beside his broken Renault. "Do
you went a lift?” The Dyane purred with satisfaction.
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